Hate Christmas? Here’s how to survive hosting this Holiday season (and actually enjoy it), says relationship expert
Christmas is just around the corner, and while many of us can’t wait for the break from work and the chance to be with loved ones, it’s not the same for everyone. For some, the festive season can stir up difficult feelings – and that’s perfectly okay. You’re definitely not alone. In fact, a 2019 YouGov survey found that nearly a third of Brits don’t really enjoy Christmas.
Hosting can be particularly challenging: the pressure of entertaining and the hours of preparation can be mentally and physically taxing for even the most enthusiastic Christmas fans. However, there are plenty of strategies that can help reduce cognitive load and make Christmas more enjoyable.
We asked relationship experts to share their insights into why the holidays are so difficult for many, and provide practical tips for those who struggle during this time. Design experts also give their advice on how to decorate a space in a way that feels less overwhelming for a stress-free Christmas.
Why is Christmas emotionally difficult?
You may feel like the only person not looking forward to the Christmas period, but this is simply not the case. Lorin Krenn, a relationship coach and hypnotherapist, explains that the holidays can bring up uncomfortable emotions, such as stress and loneliness.
‘The holidays often bring up feelings of pressure and comparison. Many people feel they need to live up to an ideal of joy and perfection that simply isn’t real,’ he says, ‘Old family wounds, relationship challenges, or loneliness can surface more strongly this time of year because everything around us amplifies connection and togetherness.
‘Take the example of relationship stress. The holidays can heighten this quickly because, from a societal point of view, it’s a time of joy, festivity, and celebration, yet inside you might feel more like disconnection or emotional exhaustion. Perhaps old arguments resurface, or you feel unseen while others seem effortlessly happy. When life doesn’t match that picture, it can feel deeply isolating.’
Lorin advises that when these uncomfortable emotions arise, the first thing to do is simply recognise them, and identify what your gut is telling you that you need.
‘Allowing space for honesty instead of pretending everything is fine is one of the healthiest things we can do during this season. Ask yourself: What does my body truly need right now? What is most important to me right now? What is surfacing that needs my attention? These questions bring you back to what matters and help you respond from clarity rather than expectation.’
Having these check-in moments is a simple way to ground yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed. However, implementing strategies that will help prevent feelings of stress and burnout all altogether will make hosting Christmas a more pleasurable experience if it’s your responsibility this year.
Set boundaries
Identifying common triggers that might cause you to feel dysregulated is a good place to start. No situation is worth sacrificing your mental well-being, so establishing your personal boundaries is an important step to prevent you from being put into situations that you’re not comfortable with.
Communicating your boundaries with others may feel difficult or awkward at first, especially if you tend to people-please to keep the peace, but doing so will encourage healthier relationships in the long run. You always deserve to feel safe and respected, and having boundaries will help you create a positive environment this Christmas.
Annabelle Knight, Relationships expert at Lovehoney, explains that setting strong boundaries is crucial during the holidays: ‘Boundaries aren’t barriers; they’re the edges that keep you emotionally safe. During the festive period, they’re essential. You might choose smaller gatherings, say no to certain events, or set time limits for socialising. That’s not selfish – that’s self-care.’
When it comes to setting your personal boundaries this Christmas, Lorin says you have to determine what you want the holidays to look like for you. For example, if you want to rest, factor in time for stillness, and remove the pressure to do everything and see everyone.
‘Intentionality ensures you don’t end up in gatherings or moments that drain you,’ he says. ‘This is key, because holidays give nothing back if you spend them in places that exhaust you. That’s why so many people feel they need a holiday from the holiday. You can avoid that by listening to your body and protecting your peace of mind.’
Boundaries can also have real benefits for your relationships, according to Annabelle. She recommends that couples have open communication and come up with compromises where necessary to ensure that both parties remain comfortable. ‘Have an honest chat about what you both want from the holidays and what drains you. Maybe you agree to leave one event early or to skip a certain visit this year.
‘A united front can make all the difference. When couples set boundaries together, they protect their relationship from burnout and resentment,’ Annabelle says.
Delegate and complete tasks in advance
Having a never-ending to-do list is guaranteed to make you feel burnt out over the Christmas period. Just because you’re hosting this year, doesn’t mean you have to do everything yourself. Pippa Masson, freelance party planning expert at Book A Party, suggests that hosts delegate tasks to guests to share the mental load and physical labour. ‘Ask friends and family members to help by bringing a dish along, setting the table, or assisting with the decorating,’ she advises.
Pippa also recommends choosing dishes to serve on Christmas Day that can be prepared ahead of time to reduce the amount of cooking you’ll have to do on the day. It's also a good idea to have plenty of meals in the freezer and to keep the cupboards stocked with non-perishable foods, which you can eat in the days leading up to Christmas and after. This will give you one less thing to think about when you’re in the midst of preparations, and will mean you won’t have to cook once your guests leave, when your social battery might be low (beans on toast is always a lifesaver when you’re feeling exhausted and in need of a comforting, easy meal!).
Pippa also suggests picking a few Christmas Day dishes you can prep ahead – it’ll save you loads of stress when things get busy. It’s also a good idea to stock the freezer and keep the cupboards filled with easy bits and bobs for the days before and after. That way, you’ve got one less thing to worry about, and you won’t have to cook once your guests leave, when your social battery might be low – and honestly, beans on toast can be an absolute lifesaver when you’re wiped out!
Getting as many tasks completed in advance as possible is the key to feeling in control during the busy Christmas period. Make sure you wrap gifts as you buy them, so you don’t end up with a mountain of unwrapped presents to tackle on Christmas Eve. Plus, wrapping your presents early will prevent the stress-inducing situation of running out of paper and not having time to buy more. You can also get the bulk of your cleaning done in advance. Give all of the rooms in your home a deep clean around two weeks before Christmas, so that you only have to do a quick tidy and cleanse of the surfaces right before your guests arrive.
If you have guests staying overnight at your house this Christmas, it’s also worth getting their bedroom completely ready in advance. In addition to giving the room a thorough clean, ensure you’ve got out everything they might need, such as towels and toiletries, a couple of weeks in advance. We’ve all experienced that sinking feeling when you’re ready to crash out but realise the bed isn’t made, so stop this from happening by washing and changing the sheets early.
If changing the bedding is one of those tasks you always dread and you’re looking for a shortcut, investing in Night Larks’ Coverless Duvet is a quick and convenient solution that will speed up the bed-making process. The duvet can be put in the washing machine as it is, so you don’t have to waste any time taking the sheets off and on, and can pop it straight onto the bed once it's dry.
Night Lark Snow Day coverless duvet set, from £65 for a single, finebedding.co.uk
Keep the decor simple
Save yourself time and effort this Christmas by resisting the temptation to go overboard with decorations. Pippa Masson suggests picking a couple of areas in your home to decorate, such as your Christmas tree in the living room, and hanging a wreath on your front door.
Christmas wreath DIY kit, £55, ingeniousgifts.co.uk
If you’re short of time, focus on decorating your dining table to make a statement. It will require far less work than decorating your whole home, while still providing plenty of festivity and a focal point for the space. A stylishly decorated tablescape will also make dining on Christmas Day extra special.
Whinnie Williams, interior designer and trends forecaster for Balsam Hill, believes that a beautiful tablescape is the secret to a calmer, less chaotic Christmas meal. ‘By making the table a focal point, it helps keep well-meaning guests out of the kitchen and encourages everyone to settle in and enjoy the moment. Rather than fussing over getting serving dishes onto the table, I do all the dishing up in the kitchen. That way, the dining area becomes a space to relax and connect – not another stress zone,’ she says.
Whinnie’s favourite low-effort, high-impact Christmas table styling tip? ‘Run a long garland of foliage down the centre of the table and layer in items you already have like baubles, tree picks, and seasonal fruit like pomegranates.’
This works particularly well with one of Whinnie’s favourite festive looks: ‘This year, I’m tapping into the ‘Merry Medieval’ trend – a more enchanted take on traditional Christmas decor that’s inspired by the rise of ‘Castlecore’ – and adding pewter candlesticks to finish the look. It’s an easy way to elevate classic silverware into something magical!’
Another way to bring your Christmas table to life and give your home an easy, festive look is by adding a single, eye-catching centrepiece. Magdalena Gierasinska, head of product and displays at Barker and Stonehouse, suggests filling a decorative bowl or tray with seasonal decor to make a unique centrepiece in minutes. ‘Natural elements, such as pinecones and sprigs of holly, are the perfect Christmas motifs to include in the display, bringing in subtle colours and textures synonymous with the festive spirit,’ she says.
Magdalena also recommends fairy lights for an instant makeover that will add plenty of cosiness to your home. ‘Not only does the warmth lend to a festive feeling, but it also helps you to relax and destress during an otherwise stressful period. Try lining bookcases, wrapping them around houseplants, or filling glass jars as a table or kitchen island feature.’
4 ways to make your home more relaxing this Christmas
Ensuring your home is a calm space will make the experience of hosting Christmas less intense and overwhelming. Melanie Whetstone, interior design expert at specialist bed manufacturer Get Laid Beds, shares four easy design tricks to transform your home into a comforting sanctuary even when you have a full house.
1. Reduce visual noise
While red and green are traditional for Christmas, Melanie Whetstone warns that these contrasting shades create an overstimulating scheme, especially when paired with bright, reflective tinsel. ‘This high-contrast combination stimulates the brain and strains the visual system, making the home environment feel chaotic rather than calming,’ she says.
Melanie recommends ditching the garish decor and using neutral, soft shades to create a cosy and soothing environment instead. ‘Try opting for a monochromatic palette, focusing on soft whites, linen textures, natural wood, and subtle greenery like juniper or eucalyptus. By deliberately minimising this visual clutter and opting instead for a subdued, tonal scheme, you transform the room into a neutral backdrop.
‘This low-stimulus design choice directly supports your need for mental quiet and grounding during a high-pressure occasion, whilst still incorporating a snowy holiday aesthetic to welcome guests,’ Melanie says.
2. Add calming scents to your home
Melanie also recommends using gentle fragrances to boost your wellbeing during the stressful Christmas season. ‘Introduce calming natural scents with more subtle candle choices. Avoid heavy saccharine holiday scents like gingerbread and cinnamon, and instead opt for more subtle scents like pine or cedar, which are still associated with Christmastime but aren't overwhelming,’ she says.
3. Ditch the dining table
Melanie points out that one of the main things that makes people feel stressed at Christmas is the pressure of hosting a formal, sit-down dinner. Because of this, she suggests decentralising the dinner by not having it at the dining table.
‘Set up food and drink stations in multiple, separate areas of the living space. This design solution functions to reduce host pressure by encouraging guests to self-serve and mingle, rather than sit formally and wait for service. By shifting the flow from a structured dinner to a relaxed grazing format, the host is physically removed from the constant demands and can participate in the gathering passively, rather than working it,’ she says.
4. Get your guests to entertain themselves!
Whether at a party or on Christmas Day itself, there’s a lot of pressure to ensure guests are entertained and having a good time, so Melanie’s genius solution is to set up your home to encourage guests to entertain themselves. ‘Instead of feeling pressured to lead every conversation or orchestrate mandatory festive cheer, you can easily switch the atmosphere from active entertaining to passive comfort,’ she says. ‘For instance, you can dedicate a cosy corner to a movie marathon, or display an array of appealing board games on a nearby coffee table. This subtle shift gives your guests a fantastic, built-in way to occupy themselves and immediately reduces the pressure on you to keep guests entertained.
By making the space visibly comfortable and clearly designed for easy, self-directed use, even an unwilling host can protect their energy while ensuring the day remains fun and festive for everyone,’ says Melanie.
Melanie Whetstone has run her own interior design practice since 2003, working on commercial and residential projects across the UK and Europe. Since 2024, she’s been an expert at Get Laid Beds, helping customers create stylish, durable, and welcoming interiors.
Remember it doesn’t have to be perfect
It’s only natural to want Christmas Day to run smoothly, especially after all the effort you’ve put in. But be gentle with yourself – it’s just one day, and it doesn’t have to be perfect. Take the pressure off, enjoy the moment, and remember, it’s your Christmas too. As Pippa Masson says so well: ‘Not everything needs to look like an Instagram photo. Just focus on having a good time with your nearest and dearest.’
Photos: Getty Images; Balsam Hill
